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Bekijk de volledige versie : verbeter de foutjes aub...


Programmer
20 November 2002, 14:47
Mijnen eerste post hier :D wilde gellie de foutjes ns aanduiden aub; k moest een opdracht typen vr engels en k wil der zker van zijn da er geen fouten instaan dus :)


hier is t dan...


The robbery of the century; my side of the story


Ronald Biggs

On the night of 8 August 1963 a train was driving from Scotland to Londen to transport a high amount of money. A crew of 15 people had planned to rob this train; and that is what they did! The robbery became the robbery of the century!

The police started to trace the robbers and after a couple of months they found them. The crew leader’s name was Ronal Biggs. Biggs was caught too, and sentenced to 30 years in prison, but he scaled the walls of a london jail and escaped after serving 15 months!

He underwent plastic surgery by a doctor in Spain and lived in Australia for a while. In 1970 he arrived in Brazil, where he had been living a crime-free life.

11 years after the robbery a detective found him, but Ronal Biggs was safe, cause Britain didn’t have an extradition agreement. His safety was also booted when his Brazilian son was born, because under Brazilian law, Biggs couldn’t be exchanged as long as he had a dependent.

After 35 years bailingship in Brazil he return to England; because his dream was to drink a pint of beer in an English pub before he died! That dream never came true, cause when he arrived at the airport, 60 policmen where waiting for him; they immediately arrested him!

Biggs is hoping that the court will pay attention to his bad medical condition...


Buster Edwards

Buster Edwards is also known as on of the most famous members from the train robbery!

He had been in prison for 15 years, after being on the run for 3 years! When he came out of prison he became a flower salesman. He tells us that selling flowers isn’t as interesting as robbing trains, because robbing trains brings more money and it’s also very exciting!

After a while Buster Edwards had been found in his garagebox; he hang himself up with a rope on a metal pilar! Police noticed that there is nothing suspicious that could lead to murder...

I think he didn’t knew what real life was about anymore; after being 15 years in prison....



I wanna thank you all for listening, and I hope you all enjoyed it!


Peace, Andries !!!

Fade of Light
20 November 2002, 15:58
Originally posted by Programmer

On the night of 8 August 1963

Beetje rare constructie. Beter is (dunkt me)
On the night of August the 8th ...

Originally posted by Programmer
The robbery became the robbery of the century!

Ook een rare constructie....
It became the robbery of the century!


Originally posted by Programmer

He underwent plastic surgery by a doctor in Spain and lived in Australia for a while. In 1970 he arrived in Brazil, where he had been living a crime-free life.


is 'underwent' goed? lijtk me namelijk een erg vrije vertaling van het woord ondergaan.....Maar het zou kunnen, dat weet ik niet zeker.

Originally posted by Programmer

After 35 years bailingship in Brazil he return to England; because his dream was to drink a pint of beer in an English pub before he died! That dream never came true, cause when he arrived at the airport, 60 policmen where waiting for him; they immediately arrested him!

1) returned
2)ik weet niet zeker of het fout is, maar 'before he would die' lijkt me beter.
3) policemen
4) die ; tussen him en they, daar zou ik gewoon een punt van maken.


Originally posted by Programmer

He had been in prison for 15 years, after being on the run for 3 years! When he came out of prison he became a flower salesman. He tells us that selling flowers isn’t as interesting as robbing trains, because robbing trains brings more money and it’s also very exciting!


1) JE springt de hele tijd van tegenwoordige tijd naar verleden tijd! wees consequent! tells -> told
2) aren't


Originally posted by Programmer

After a while Buster Edwards had been found in his garagebox; he hang himself up with a rope on a metal pilar! Police noticed that there is nothing suspicious that could lead to murder...

I think he didn’t knew what real life was about anymore; after being 15 years in prison....



1) hung (niet zeker of up erbij hoort)
2) was

Fade of Light
20 November 2002, 15:58
Biggs is hoping that the court will pay attention to his bad medical condition...




weer zo'n tegenwoordige tijd, wat raar is/lijkt....

is -> was

Little Angel
20 November 2002, 17:07
Originally posted by Programmer
The robbery of the century; my side of the story


Ronald Biggs

On the night of 8 August 1963 a train was driving from Scotland to Londen to transport a high amount of money.

August the 8th is beter denk ik.

A crew of 15 people had planned to rob this train; and that is what they did! The robbery became the robbery of the century!

A crew kun je beter vervangen met a group das meer engels, dit is meer amerikaans zou mijn leraar zeggen.

The police started to trace the robbers and after a couple of months they found them.

Je kunt beter a few months neer zetten, staat beter.

The crew leader’s name was Ronal Biggs. Biggs was caught too, and sentenced to 30 years in prison, but he scaled the walls of a london jail and escaped after serving 15 months!

Crew dus vervangen door group. was vervangen door got, die tijd kom dan beter overeen met de rest van de tekst. In prison kun je beter imprisoning. En london moet met een hoofdletter.

He underwent plastic surgery by a doctor in Spain and lived in Australia for a while. In 1970 he arrived in Brazil, where he had been living a crime-free life.

Underwent staat vreemd. Misschien beter He went to a plastic surgery doctor in Spain..... En had been living bestaat volgens mij niet. This volgens mij de shit regel dus has been living.(he she en it krijgen een -s)

11 years after the robbery a detective found him, but Ronal Biggs was safe, cause Britain didn’t have an extradition agreement. His safety was also booted when his Brazilian son was born, because under Brazilian law, Biggs couldn’t be exchanged as long as he had a dependent.{/QUOTE]

Cause is geen woord het is because.[QUOTE]

After 35 years bailingship in Brazil he return to England; because his dream was to drink a pint of beer in an English pub before he died! That dream never came true, cause when he arrived at the airport, 60 policmen where waiting for him; they immediately arrested him!

Cause moet because zijn. policemen moet het zijn.

Biggs is hoping that the court will pay attention to his bad medical condition...


Buster Edwards

Buster Edwards is also known as on of the most famous members from the train robbery!

He had been in prison for 15 years, after being on the run for 3 years! When he came out of prison he became a flower salesman. He tells us that selling flowers isn’t as interesting as robbing trains, because robbing trains brings more money and it’s also very exciting!

he had moet he has zijn vanwege de shit-regel.

After a while Buster Edwards had been found in his garagebox; he hang himself up with a rope on a metal pilar! Police noticed that there is nothing suspicious that could lead to murder...

I think he didn’t knew what real life was about anymore; after being 15 years in prison....

Garagebox zou ik gewoon garage van maken dit staat nogal vreemd.



I wanna thank you all for listening, and I hope you all enjoyed it!


Peace, Andries !!!

Ik hoop dat ik je heb geholpen, dit zijn denk ik genoeg verbeteringen om een 7 te halen voor de opdracht. Good luck!!!!:)

aarsch
20 November 2002, 21:08
Originally posted by Programmer

He underwent plastic surgery by a doctor in Spain and lived in Australia for a while. In 1970 he arrived in Brazil, where he had been living a crime-free life.



volgens mij kan je underwent beter vertalen door: went trough

Ar-Tuur
20 November 2002, 21:15
of je verandert het helemaal, in "In Spain he had plastic surgery".
Misschien niet de mooiste zin, maar het is volgens mij goed en de boodschap komt over.

dext0r
20 November 2002, 23:40
came out of jail zou ik 'got out of jail' van maken of iets dergelijks

Irene!!!!
21 November 2002, 01:18
Originally posted by Programmer

The robbery of the century; my side of the story


Ronald Biggs

On the night of August the 8th in 1963 a train was driving from Scotland to London to transport a high amount of money. A crew of 15 people were going to rob a train. It became the robbery of the century!

The police started to trace the robbers and after a couple of months they found them. The crews leader’s name was Ronal Biggs. Biggs was caught too, and was sentenced to 30 years in prison, but he scaled the walls of a London jail and escaped after serving 15 months!

He underwent plastic surgery by a doctor in Spain and lived in Australia for a while. In 1970 he arrived in Brazil, where he had been living a crime-free life.

11 years after the robbery a detective found him, but Ronal Biggs was safe, because Britain didn’t have an extradition agreement. His safety was also booted when his Brazilian son was born, because under Brazilian law, Biggs couldn’t be exchanged as long as he had a dependent. wat bedoel je hier mee?

After 35 years bailingship in Brazil he returned to England; because his dream was to drink a pint of beer in an English pub before he died! That dream never came true, cause when he arrived at the airport, 60 policemen were waiting for him; they immediately arrested him!

Biggs is hoping that the court will pay attention to his bad medical condition...


Buster Edwards

Buster Edwards is also known as one of the most famous members from the train robbery!

He had been in prison for 15 years, after being on the run for 3 years! When he came out of prison he became a flower salesman. He tells us that selling flowers isn’t as interesting as robbing trains, because robbing trains brings more money and it’s also very exciting!

After a while Buster Edwards had been found in his garagebox; he hang himself up with a rope on a metal pilar! Police noticed that there is nothing suspicious that could lead to murder...

I think he didn’t know what real life was about anymore; after being in prison for 15 years.



I want to thank you all for listening, and I hope you all enjoyed it!


Peace, Andries !!!

wanna is straattaal :)

Ar-Tuur
21 November 2002, 15:00
Biggs is hoping that the court will pay attention to his bad medical condition...

Kun je beter "hopes" van maken denk ik.

Ar-Tuur
21 November 2002, 15:01
Waar we verspillen we eigenlijk tijd/moeite/energie aan, de kerel die de topic heeft gestart is ll.com waarschijnlijk allang weer vergeten en komt niet meer terug :{

kim13
21 November 2002, 19:14
Originally posted by Little Angel


August the 8th is beter denk ik.


A crew kun je beter vervangen met a group das meer engels, dit is meer amerikaans zou mijn leraar zeggen.

Je kunt beter a few months neer zetten, staat beter.

Crew dus vervangen door group. was vervangen door got, die tijd kom dan beter overeen met de rest van de tekst. In prison kun je beter imprisoning. En london moet met een hoofdletter.

Underwent staat vreemd. Misschien beter He went to a plastic surgery doctor in Spain..... En had been living bestaat volgens mij niet. This volgens mij de shit regel dus has been living.(he she en it krijgen een -s)

Cause moet because zijn. policemen moet het zijn.

he had moet he has zijn vanwege de shit-regel.

Garagebox zou ik gewoon garage van maken dit staat nogal vreemd.

Ik hoop dat ik je heb geholpen, dit zijn denk ik genoeg verbeteringen om een 7 te halen voor de opdracht. Good luck!!!!:) volgens mij klopt dat wel, het is dan voltooid verleden tijd. dat hebben wij namelijk pas geleden met engels gehad... ( had been living)

Miss_Sweetgirl
22 November 2002, 17:46
als ik wat hoger dan 4 voor engels stond had ik je graag geholpen:+

Irene!!!!
23 November 2002, 01:05
Originally posted by Ar-Tuur
Waar we verspillen we eigenlijk tijd/moeite/energie aan, de kerel die de topic heeft gestart is ll.com waarschijnlijk allang weer vergeten en komt niet meer terug :{

hmm idd ik heb gecheckt en hij is nooit meer terug gekomen :(