Zou iemand mijn engelse brief willen nakijken ? *kijkt heel lief*

Zou iemand zo lief willen zijn om mijn brief in het engels even te lezen/corrigeren. Ik ben ontzettend slecht in engels en we moeten deze brief morgen inleveren.
Dit is echt geen smeekbrief haha, maar ik zou het heel fijn vinden dat ik ook eens met iets 'gramaticaal' goeds aan kom morgen!
Het gaat maar om een kleine brief. Is de grammatica goed? Zinsbouw of moet ik het anders formuleren?

Alvast bedankt he!!

Dear Alan,

Thank you very much for your Christmas greetings! I wish you and your family all the best and a happy new year!
Off course I had to write you sooner. I don’t want to think up an excuse, but I have to confess that I’ve been quite lax the last periode.
But, how are you and how is your family? My family is doing excellent!
Unfortunately, I have to work properly hard in the 4th class of HAVO, but my father tells me that it is good for me to work hard.
What I still wonder, are the pictures, you made during the holiday succeed? If so, would you like to send me those pictures. I would love to have them. I will pay all the forwarding-charges, that speaks for itself.
Have you already made plans for the holiday next year? Have you decided to go to the same campsite or would you like to spend the holiday in your own country? Please, write me back soon!

All the best,
Claire

Originally posted by Clairetje

What I still wonder, are the pictures, you made during the holiday succeed?

deze zou ik ff herformuleren... dit loopt namelijk niet

are == did zou hem al wat beter laten lopen en die komma kan wel weg...

If so, would you like to send me those pictures. I would love to have them.

een vraagteken ipv. de punt na pictures

Have you already made plans for the holiday next year? Have you decided to go to the same campsite or would you like to spend the holiday in your own country? Please, write me back soon!

All the best,
Claire

het valt me op dat je redelijk vaak dezelfde zinsopbouw gebruikt, maar dat is iets waar ik nu niet op inga aangezien het grammaticaal eigenlijk goed is

k zie nergens fouten?

[bootje]

off course = of course

DutchECK?

Originally posted by Clairetje

Dear Alan,

Thank you very much for your Christmas greetings! I wish you and your family all the best and a happy new year!
Off course I had to write you sooner.

Je bedoelt "Ik had je eerder moeten schrijven"? Maar dat mag je zo niet vertalen. Ik zou ervan maken: "I should have write to you earlier"

I don’t want to think up an excuse, but I have to confess that I’ve been quite lax the last periode.

Periode = period.

What I still wonder, are the pictures, you made during the holiday succeed?

Ook weer typisch Nederlands. Beter is denk ik: "What about the pictures you made during the holiday? Misschien simpel, maar wel goed en iedereen weet wat je bedoelt

Correct me if I'm wrong

[bootje]

Originally posted by Ar-Tuur
"I should have write to you earlier"

Correct me if I'm wrong

deze zin klopt niet

"I should have written you earlier"

die "I had to write you sooner" lijktme trouwens ook niet verkeerd hoor.

Originally posted by Clairetje
What I still wonder, are the pictures, you made during the holiday succeed? If so, would you like to send me those pictures.

Beter:

I was wondering, have you already developed the pictures of your holiday? I would very much like to see them.

Originally posted by WhizzCat
Beter:

I was wondering, have you already developed the pictures of your holiday? I would very much like to see them.

is het niet I would like it very much to see them

Originally posted by sunnyflower
is het niet I would like it very much to see them

nee
klinkt niet

Originally posted by EternalShadow
nee
klinkt niet

nee maar ik vind "I would very much like to see them" ook niet echt klinken

[chica]

Originally posted by sunnyflower
nee maar ik vind "I would very much like to see them" ook niet echt klinken

very much hoeft toch niet eens per se

nee maar volgens mij staat very much op de verkeerde plaats maar het kan ook aan mij liggen hoor

[chica]

laat t dan gewoon weg

Dear Alan,

Thank you very much for your Christmas greetings!
I would like to wish all the best to you and your family and hopefully you will have a happy new year!

Of course I know that I had to write you back faster,
but I have to confess that I’ve been quite lax lately.

I wonder how life is at your place. I hope everything is fine!
With my family and me it's quite great. I'd love to go to school.
Only one thing that bothers me is that I have to work very hard in the 4th class of HAVO (intermediate level)
But my father keeps telling me how good it is for me to work hard.

I'm wondering if the pictures you took during the vacation are a success? I would like to have copy's of the pictures if that is possible. It speaks for itself that I will pay you all the costs you will be making.

Did you already decide what to do for vacation next year?
Do you want to go to the same campsite as last year or would you like to spend the vacation in your own country?

I would like to hear from you soon!

All the best,

Claire

Volgens mij is het zo goed..Sorry als er nog foutjes inzitten..Je moet trouwens goed het verschil zien tussen holiday en vacation..
Holiday is zeg maar pasen, kerst, etc...En vacation is dat je naar een campingplek toe gaat om vakantie te houden..

[bootje]

Originally posted by Karliene
Dear Alan,

Thank you very much for your Christmas greetings!
I would like to wish all the best to you and your family and hopefully you will have a happy new year!

Of course I know that I had to write you back faster,
but I have to confess that I’ve been quite lax lately.

I wonder how life is at your place. I hope everything is fine!
With my family and me it's quite great. I'd love to go to school.
Only one thing that bothers me is that I have to work very hard in the 4th class of HAVO (intermediate level)
But my father keeps telling me how good it is for me to work hard.

I'm wondering if the pictures you took during the vacation are a success? I would like to have copy's of the pictures if that is possible. It speaks for itself that I will pay you all the costs you will be making.

Did you already decide what to do for vacation next year?
Do you want to go to the same campsite as last year or would you like to spend the vacation in your own country?

I would like to hear from you soon!

All the best,

Claire

Volgens mij is het zo goed..Sorry als er nog foutjes inzitten..Je moet trouwens goed het verschil zien tussen holiday en vacation..
Holiday is zeg maar pasen, kerst, etc...En vacation is dat je naar een campingplek toe gaat om vakantie te houden..

sorry, maar ik vind je versie geen verbetering

[ik_ben_de_man]

Originally posted by bootje
sorry, maar ik vind je versie geen verbetering

al die moeite weer voor niks